“You must create space in your life to let new things in. Sometimes the things you’re holding onto are the very things that are holding you back.” – Unknown
Have you ever felt stuck or stagnant in your life, despite your best efforts to move forward? Do you find yourself putting up with things that don’t serve you, such as a job you hate, a toxic relationship, or a self-limiting belief? If so, you’re not alone.
Whether we realize it or not, we all have things we tolerate in our lives. What if we could let go of those things and create space for new opportunities, growth, and happiness?
Let’s explore the power of letting go and share some practical tips and exercises to help you identify what you’re tolerating and take action toward a more fulfilling and purposeful life. By the end of the read, the goal is to understand the power of letting go by learning to identify what you’re tolerating, which allows you to create a space for growth.
The Rationale
Letting go is not always easy; many of us hold onto negative emotions or past experiences that weigh us down. It’s important to remember that letting go is a process. It takes time, self-awareness, and self-compassion to release negative experiences and emotions and make room for growth and renewal.
Below are some of the most common reasons why we tolerate things past healthy acceptance and find it hard to let go. Which ones do you resonate with? Are there additional reasons? What are the reasons that cause your reasons?
- Fear of the unknown
Letting go of something familiar can be scary because we don’t know what will happen next. It’s natural to feel a sense of uncertainty or discomfort when facing the unknown.
- Attachment to the past
We may hold onto negative experiences or emotions because they are familiar, and we feel attached to them. This can be especially true if we have prior experiences of being hurt or betrayed.
- Pride
Admitting that we need to let go or change our behavior can be difficult for some people, especially if they have a strong sense of pride or self-image.
- Lack of control
Letting go of something can make us feel like we are losing control. This can be challenging for individuals who value having a semblance of control in their lives and circumstances.
- Beliefs and values
Our beliefs and values can also affect our ability to let go or tolerate things. For example, if we believe we should always be strong and resilient, we may struggle to ask for help or admit our vulnerabilities.
- __________
Reflect and state other additional reasons.
The Benefit
Research shows that holding onto these negative emotions can harm our mental and physical health. Letting go can reduce stress and anxiety, improve our relationships, and create space for positive experiences.
- According to a survey by the American Psychological Association, letting go of past mistakes and regrets is important for mental health, with 60% of respondents reporting that it helped them manage stress and 43% saying it improved their overall well-being (APA, 2017).
- A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 2021 found that individuals who were able to let go of negative experiences and forgive themselves for past failures experienced less stress and anxiety and had better physical health compared to those who held onto negative emotions (Webb et al., 2021). The study also found that individuals who could forgive themselves were more likely to engage in positive health behaviors, such as exercise and healthy eating.
The Application
Here are a few tips for applying the power of reassessing and adjusting our goals.:
☑ Make a List
☑ Prioritize
☑ Decide
☑ Action
Step 1: Make a List
Making a list is the first step in identifying what you’re tolerating. Take time to reflect on different areas of your life, such as work, relationships, health, finances, or personal growth. Write down anything that comes to mind that you feel you’re putting up with or tolerating, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem.
For example, your list might include:
- A job that drains your energy and doesn’t align with your values.
- A friend who constantly criticizes and belittles you.
- A habit of procrastination that holds you back from pursuing your goals.
- A negative self-talk that undermines your confidence and self-worth.
Step 2: Prioritize
Once you have your list, prioritize the items based on the level of impact on your life and well-being. Ask yourself:
- How much does this affect my happiness, health, and fulfillment?
- How much control do I have over changing it?
- How much am I willing to tolerate it?
Rank each item on your list from high priority to low priority. This will help you focus your attention and energy on the things that matter most.
Step 3: Decide what to let go of
Now that you have your list and priorities, it’s time to decide what to let go of. This can be a difficult and emotional process, but it’s essential if you want to create space for new opportunities and growth.
Ask yourself:
- What am I willing to let go of right now?
- What are the consequences of holding onto this thing?
- What would my life look like if I didn’t have to tolerate this thing anymore?
Be honest with yourself and trust your intuition. You may find that some things are easier to let go of than others, and that’s okay. Start with the most doable ones and work your way up from there.
Step 4: Take Action
Once you decide what to let go of, it’s time to take action!
This may involve making a plan, setting boundaries, seeking support, or taking a leap of faith.
Here are some possible actions you could take:
- Update your resume and start looking for a new job
- Have a conversation with your friend and set boundaries for how you want to be treated
- Break down your goals into smaller, actionable steps and commit to taking one step each day
- Practice self-compassion and replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations
Remember that letting go is a process, not an event. It takes time, patience, and perseverance to create lasting change.
Step 5: Reflect and Celebrate
As you take action toward letting go and creating space for growth, it’s important to reflect on your progress and celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
- What have I learned about myself through this process?
- What challenges have I overcome, and how have I grown as a result?
- What new opportunities or possibilities have opened up for me?
- What can I do to continue moving forward and staying true to my values and goals?
Reflecting on your progress and celebrating your successes will build momentum and the motivation to keep going.
The Outcome
Letting go is not always easy, but the benefits are worth the effort. Many individuals who have let go of negative experiences and emotions report feeling happier, more fulfilled, and more resilient. We can create space for new experiences and opportunities by releasing the past. Many public figures have shared how this technique has been fundamental in their lives. Richard Branson discussed in his book “The Virgin Way: Everything I Know About Leadership”; he explained how he learned to let go of his ego and focus on building a strong team, saying, “If you really want to grow as an entrepreneur, you’ve got to learn to let go. You’ve got to learn to delegate. It’s imperative to focus on priorities and delegate tasks to others who are better suited to handle them. This gives you the time and space to think strategically and develop new ideas.”
The Conclusion
Letting go of what you’re tolerating is a powerful way to create space for growth, happiness, and fulfillment. By making a list, prioritizing, deciding what to let go of, taking appropriate action, and reflecting and celebrating, you can cultivate a life that aligns with your values and aspirations. Remember, it’s never too late to start letting go and creating a brighter future for yourself. In conclusion, letting go is essential to your well-being and can lead to improved mental and physical health outcomes, increased productivity, and greater life satisfaction.